It's been an eventful week for Hugh Grant. He's dumped baked beans on a photographer, won his libel case and according to Yahoo! News, he's changed record labels from Warner Bros Christian label to EMI's Sparrow.
Look closely, the story says Amy Grant, the picture is Hugh Grant.
Silly Yahoo! News...

Springtime For Hitler

After my third reading of Night for the day, I am full of melancholy. So it's last period and we're finished for the day.

"Miss! This is sad!"

"You're right, it is. But I do think this book teaches us about the nature
of people. It'll be sad, though. There's not going to be a musical number
anytime soon."

(and this charming kid sounds genuinely sad and wistful) "But wouldn't it
be great if they just busted out and sang I Will Survive? I love that
song, Miss."

I'll Post The Phrase Again To Throw The Googlers Off!

This post still gets a fair amount of hits. Most people find it when they google the term, "PETITION TO PUT PRAYER BACK IN PUBLIC SCHOOLS".

Anyone who can tell me why they all seem to use all caps gets a zillion educat testing season points.

Anyhow, if I were to add a PS to that post, it might be what Streak wrote today.


Just in time for testing, let's review some figurative language.


We've started reading Night and our entry into the book involved a discussion we've needed for some time. We talked about the names we call each other and about feelings of isolation and anonymity. We had a hard time seperating the ideas of prejudice, stereotype, and racism (as they all seemed to fade into a big wad of sameness). We read the first chunk of the book and one kid had some questions.


Can we stop right now and have a conversation about calling one's teacher's "Miss"? Good, let's do that. I hate it. No one called me "Miss" when I was a waitress, why does it happen to me now? My sister loves these stories and glories in the Dickensian tone it gives to my day ("Please, Miss, may I have a hall pass? I had ever so much figgy pudding at lunch!"). You have four teachers, kiddo, you can manage four names.

"Miss, is it a stereotype just to call someone a Jew or a Mexican or

"No, there's more to it. If the word has an emotional punch because of
society's ideas then it's a stereotype. To call me white is no big deal, it's
what I am. But when you add that my hair smells like a wet dog, that's a

"Oooh, and it's a simile too, Miss!"

I am simultaneously charmed by his recall of figurative language and hurt that the alleged wet dog status of my hair was not challenged.

Rapper Cam'ron On Snitching (CBS News)

I can't embed this, so click here to go to YouTube to understand another reason that good teaching is nearly impossible.

Kids with this mindset are in my class daily.

...and while I am pondering, I wonder if Cam'ron keeps his money under his mattress for sheer distrust of "The Man".

Because I Might Be The Last Blog In America To Do This



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What is Your World View?
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I'm Bringing The Bible Into My School

In order for Don Imus to get a two week suspension at my High School, he'd not only have to use racist words at the women of the Rutgers Women's Basketball team, he'd have to beat them up.

And we all know that couldn't happen.

I am tired, tired, tired of the misuse of words in order to hurt others. I've been writing referrals, assigning detentions, and generally waving my arm in defiance until I lose feeling in it and I fear it will fall off. Today, I hit the wall on the most misused and overused insult--gay.

Anything unpleasant or distasteful is gay. My tests? Gay. Five minute passing periods? Gay. The rule against bringing your baby to school on carnival day (or any other)? Gay.

For years, I've been fighting it by arguing that my tests, the passing periods, and leaving your baby at home have no sexual preference. While I respect that these things don't make you happy, they're not homosexual.

Today, I hit a wall with "gay". I have now decided that I will respond to that word in kind, I will use other laws from the book of Leviticus as insults.

  • "Man, you need to quit! That's so crazy it allows cattle to graze with cattle of other kinds!"
  • "Oooh, you totally wear clothing made from more than one kind of fabric."
  • "You touch the skin of unclean animals. You do it alla time, so's your momma!"

I know you people can help me here, insults from the book of Leviticus...go!

He Weared Of Himself The Long Hair, And After He Die The First Day He Come Back Here For To Say Hello To The Peoples

In honor of Easter, go read David Sedaris.

Or you could hunt eggs, but it's pretty cold.


If ever, ever, ever I felt guilty about how I have dealt with grief, I hereby release myself. Because no matter what happens, Keith Richards handled it worse.

In The Spring, A High School's Fancy Lightly Turns To Thoughts Of Feet

It's that time of year. The stress increases along with student insanity and the temperature of my classroom.

We could speak of horrid evils, but instead, let's laugh at children.

I came around from the podium to sit on the front desk of my classroom. I was wearing sassy sandals today and one girl noticed my newly pedicured toes.

"Oooohh, Miss! Why don't you got no pichers on your toes?"
"Why don't they paint nothin but red on your toes?"
"Oh! Well, I guess I'm just not a picture on my toes kind of gal."

If I were, though, I think it might be something by Klimt.

Last period is when I have That Boy. I'll not attempt to describe him, I'll just let you figure it out.

me:"Oh!" I said, remembering their homework right after their grammar was
passed up, "you know what else I need?"
That Boy: "A pair of Manolos, Miss?"
puzzled me: "Um, no, your questions and response to the essay."
That Boy: "But you'd really like the shoes, right Miss?"