Piercing the Heart...MY Heart....

What I'm about to share is something REAL within me. I've debated about sharing this, as it's pretty personal, but I believe that when someone is transparent, God's kids can pray for that person. Perhaps that's what I need now. I'm not really sure. These are some thoughts that I'm still processing through...

I'm a fan of the show JUDGING AMY. It went off the air several years ago, and I've been searching for it to be on DVD for years. Fortunately about a month ago, a friend told me it's on in re-runs again. So, I went to my trusty DVR and searched. Sure enough, it's on daily! I was, and still am, excited about this! It's a show that gives me hope in ways I can't even express in the form of words. So, I set my DVR to tape it whenever it's on, and I watch it whenever I can in the evenings.

One evening last week I was watching an episode, and one of the main characters (Maxine) was there to remove a child from a foster home. The Foster Mother was silently upset. Maxine said, "SoandSo, you will make it through this, you're a strong woman." To which the Foster Mother said something that I have felt for years, she said, "Yes, I am strong. But, when is it my turn to be weak, and have someone else hold me, hug me, love me?"

I have told that to God repeatedly over the years, to which I haven't gotten a response. Typically when God does that with me, it means there's something else for me to learn before I hear an answer. He isn't being mean, He just knows where I'm headed and I don't.

I will admit, I have asked Him why He gave me desires for a spouse and kids, if that hasn't come to fruition yet. Then I remember that just because it hasn't happened yet, it doesn't mean it won't happen. It just means He has other things in store for me for this season of my life.

Please don't hear a "poor me" spirit here. That's NOT my heart. If you know me, REALLY know me, you know that's not my heart. I just thought I'd share something that pierced my heart last week.

Every once in a while I hear a quote (And I LOVE quotes!) that sums up what I've been thinking and/or feeling. And honestly, that one did just that! I know that God will continue to encourage me and guide me through this season of my life. He has so far, and He hasn't let me down once! *grin*